Cobwebs

Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night with lots of thoughts in your head.  Some of these thoughts are current concerns, related to work and family and the day's events.  Some thoughts are things that have already happened and remain for my conscious to ponder.  And finally, there is a third layer, almost a mist, of seemingly random memories that have for reasons unknown stuck in the cobwebs of my mind.

Sometimes I wonder why that third layer lingers.  Images from childhood sometimes.  Other times a slice of a memory I cannot place, but I know it was from a while ago.  The mind is powerful, but cannot keep everything in the foreground of our thoughts, as it would be overwhelming and too complex for us to operate with so many memories and images flashing in in front of us.  There are things from our lives, though, that are placed in the whirlwind of subconscious that remains ever-twirling as we go through our days.

These past few weeks in the Orelove family have been like a whirlwind of sorts.  With the school year now in full tilt, we have all adjusted to our daily schedules and enjoy our time apart, and reuniting every afternoon to play, eat, and read bedtime stories.  It is Audrey's birthday in a couple days, and I am reminded of what a special time this is for a child.  The world is a big, fast place that often overlooks the young.  It is important to celebrate children, and birthdays are a great way of doing so.  Feeling special is and experience I want my children to have often, but when the entire family focuses their love and attention on them each year, the feelings and emotions are heightened exponentially.  Of course there are presents and gifts that factor into the equation, but the best gift is the love and recognition Audrey will receive and how her confidence will grow as a result of it.

The Jewish New Year is also here, and I am happy to wish my family a healthy and happy transition during this time of renewed faith celebration.  New years are cyclical events that allow us pause for reflection and gives us the opportunity to adjust our lives and assess the paths and relationships we are forging.  Are we happy?  Can I be better?  Does this way make me a stronger person?   How can I change to make my life more powerful?  How can I help others?  These are some of the questions I ask myself during this period.  Sometimes I have answers, other times I can only hope to remain aware of the question as I move forward seeking an answer.

So here we are, all in our own little cyclones of thought and memories and hopes and dreams...all twirling around this world, sometimes colliding with others, sometimes all alone.  We have these thoughts and dreams and memories and ideas all working in one way or another to provide each of us a unique outlook on life, and if we are lucky, we find other people who share some of these shards and can understand our perspective a little and sympathize with our lens through which we see things.  Ultimately, many of the bits and pieces of life get caught in the cobwebs of our minds.  Sometimes we find them and examine them more closely, and some of them remain there, unidentified, yet still impacting how we see the world.

Audrey's chalk of Daddy and Audrey playing in the sun.

A heavy fog on my morning run.  Very peaceful and exciting to run in!

Violet on a Sunday morning trip to the grocery store.  She gets to ride the mechanical horse, Sandy, after checkout.

These rays of sun were shining at the end of the day.  It made me take a moment to appreciate the "big picture", which I really needed that day.

Audrey teaching Violet how to use her scooter.

Audrey wining tickets at a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.

Audrey and Kim blowing out birthday candles at Grandma Flesher's house this weekend.  I can't believe she is 5 years old!

Audrey and her birthday presents from the day.  How are we going to get everything home?

After all was said and done, Audrey enjoyed flying a kite outside on the perfect fall day.

Going with the breeze.  Audrey flying a kite.

Audrey, Oren, and Violet at Grandma Flesher's house.  Climbing the fence.  

Audrey and her new bike!  Thank you Grandpa Cip.  

Violet, Audrey, and Daddy.  I hope this is a memory that gets snagged in my cobwebs.

After a Storm

Audrey

Last night was a tremendous lightening storm.  It was amazing to watch move towards our house at such a fast, relentless speed.  I sat, in my completely dark bedroom, listening to the rain pelt the windows.  The wind pushing against the walls made me think of the big bad wolf huffing and puffing, trying to blow our little house down. The lightening was flashing a few times nearly every second.  Mother nature was definitely in charge.

There is a sense of serenity that overcomes me when a storm takes over.  While I admit that begin inside helps a lot, I know people who are very frightened or anxious when the winds pick up and thunder rolls.  Something inside my head gets very calm and every decision is crystal clear and individual.  This is how my mind reacts during intense situations or crisis, it does not "lock-up", but rather it attempts to slow things down to scrutinize them.

These past few weeks have felt like a storm of sorts, with everyone returning to work/school routines.  My school schedule has felt like a storm in many ways, with my time being completely re-prioritized and having to communicate and present for nearly sixty students, not to mention an entire school staff, as well.  I see fellow teachers, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of emails, phone calls, assignments, and general paperwork screaming for their time with deadlines and quickly-closing dates.  Even now, as I type this, a pile of math quizzes stares at me from across the room, begging for a grade in their upper right corners.

This is where my mind slows down and takes things on an individual basis.  It is essential that people understand how they operate in different situations, and also to recognize how others work through life.  I have been trying to understand how my daughters respond to different situations, and address behavior when I recognize it.  I also do this with my students, and pretty much anyone else who I encounter on a regular basis.  I think we all learn to adjust to different modes of learning and responses as we progress through life, but I don't think we all take the time to examine and really think about our different processes.  How do you respond to intense situations?

So now the morning light breaks as I peck away at this keyboard with a cup of coffee at my side.  The children and wife are still asleep, and it is peaceful.  The extra day of weekend is blissful, and I am sure I could be more productive, but it is brilliant to simply sit and be.  The Chicago Marathon seems to be in my future again, so thoughts of Gatorade and new running shoes dance in my mind.  Getting to run and exercise is becoming a staple in my life, and I get queasy thinking about a time where I cannot run distances any more.  However, I get excited thinking about helping Audrey to run one day, or just to see her grow into her athletic abilities.  Her swimming this summer was so much fun, and the winter months have promised more swim lessons in order to get us active during the darkest months.  But those months are a little while off.  We still have football, and the fall colors, and Thanksgiving before the first snowflakes are even a possibility.

So as all this begins to happen, and the storm of life swirls all about me, I do my best to sit calmly, taking it all in, one thing at a time.

Violet