Sunday Silence

 I like this Sunday morning time to write and think and post.  Thre is something special about sitting in silence or in a quiet space and just letting thoughts flow freely.  I was talking to Sam last night and explaining silence because he said he was afraid of darkness and silence.  I told him that darkness and silence are very important because they allow us to be still and take-in the world around us.  Our senses become heightened in the darkness and when engulfed in silence.  Silence often allows us to hear what is going on in our minds and bodies.  Even this morning, I am savoring the time to just sit with some coffee and listen to the quiet of a Sunday morning as the world wakes up and I can listen to what is happening inside my own head and heart.

The days are moving and the children are older.  Audrey is driving and working so hard in school and with her flute playing.  Violet is on the basketball team and earning high marks.  Sam is responsible every day for his work and cleaning and seems to learn a little more each day and leaves his small child self a little further behind.  

There are adventures on the horizon, which keeps me motivated and excited.  The older I get, the more I look forward to adventures, new experiences, and making memories with my family and friends.  There are few material things I want anymore that are out of reach, so there is a peace that comes with recognizing that people and time are the most valuable things to me, and ot necessarily the latest tech. or gadgets or toys (although those are still very fun, too!)

This is the second half of my life now.  There is a lot that races through my mind when I come to grips that I am more than half-way through my own life.  Time seems infinite until a point, and I think almost all of us realize that we are moving closer to the end than the beginning.  There is something very freeing about this concept to me, as I feel less pressure to perform for others, and more to simply be true to who I am and how I feel internally.  I am thankful for all of this time, and hope to make my family proud and accomplish the things I find most important in my own life, and not be so consumed by what the rest of the world is telling me.  

So these are the things I am hearing inside my own head right now as I sit in the silence of this Sunday morning.  The rest of the world is stirring, so this may be a good time to stop this ramble.  After I publish, I think I will try my best to sit still for just a few more minutes to see what else I can hear...

-a

One Step at a Time

 A quick check-in today.  The family continues the daily grind of school and work and such.  We have time to laugh and play and all of the other things, too...which is really nice.  Everyone has their own lives and it is quite the thing to see how the kids deal with the challenges life throws at them.  It is difficult, as a parent, to see new stresses and anxieties your children take as the world expects a little more of them each year...and it is just awesome to see how they simply continue to respond to their challenges with courage and dedication to be a good human and their best selves.  

On a simply outrageous note...

I learned a valuable lesson last night:

Don't leave brownies outside to cool, as they attract a giant opossum that hisses in a terrifying manner.  

Sometimes just letting the brownies cool on the stove top and being patient is best.  

-a

A New Sun Rises....The Same Sun

 This might be the greatest cup of coffee I have had in a long while....or maybe it is the moment rather than the drink in hand.  I sit looking out the window on a zero degree morning.  Two dogs have had their breakfast and morning constitution, so they are satidfied, now especially that they have received some extra scratches under the collar!  Oskar snoozes under a blanket on the floor while Luna is ever-present, curled up at my feet on the couch.  

Violet

Kim

Audrey

The country is celebrating MLK Day, but also the next president returns to sit on his throne, and we hold our breaths.  It is a solemn Monday morning, and we are now in 2025.  It has been too long and I have left this blog unattended and the children have become less so since then.  They are older, learning so much more on their own now.  They are harder to talk to yet I can see so many things they know and do just from having been that age once, too.  

Sam

Abel

The last time I attempted to write was in August, which was the one year anniversary (roughly) of the passing of both my father (Joel), and step-father (Ted).  I have also been working in an exciting position at a new school this year, and somehow all of this has combined with the sweetness of my family to create a general contentment and satisfaction in my life that has been missing for some time.  This is no one's fault except my own.  The love and support they have given me as I find my path to healing and moving forward have truly been my salvation in so many ways.  This has allowed me to evolve and fully apply myself at school, which in turn gives me great professional satisfaction....another thing that has been missing for a long time.  

I simply find myself humbled and thankful for all that I find myself surrounded by.  I will try to do better writing and documenting this life moving forward, as it brings me another piece of satisfaction.  

Damn this coffee is good.

-a