It is a quarter till nine on this Sunday morning, and I have been watching the sun rise steadily through the living room window since early this morning. The weekends are my rounds of taking care of Sam through the night. While he is sleeping more and more...there are still a couple times he needs a change or a bottle. It is a different kind of living: taking care of a baby. You spend time in hours and minutes, not days or longer. Sam will sleep for a couple hours, then wake-up and look around for a few minutes. Feedings take about fifteen minutes and then another half hour to fall back asleep. My own adult brain, however, does not completely work in these time increments. I have watched some stand-up comedies and a few dramas and action films that I haven't been able to get around to with kids in the room.
Now the fireplace is warming the room and the cat is lazing happily in a nearby sunbeam. Violet is curled up on the couch next to me reading through her newly-purchased book about Legos that she picked out when we visited Barnes and Nobel yesterday. A podcast plays quietly off of my phone and I sit contentedly typing and reflecting on life.
There are changes on the horizon for me. With a third child, and the age of 40 being closer than 30, now is a good time to take a step back and look around and make some decisions about this next portion of life for both myself and the direction I want my family to head. I want to take more time to travel and experience more outside of our home. I hope to travel to Alaska in the next year to visit family and friends. This summer we will spend more time outside on our bikes and making trips to the city and surrounding suburbs to explore the things available to us. We will define our interests more and pursue them in our own ways that are meaningful to each of us. I want to push my daughters to find activities that empower them and will be a tool for their creativity and allow them to become more independent.
And yet, I sit here on a Sunday morning...looking forward to going to an early movie this morning with my daughters...possibly a haircut...then some work before a possible nap and lazy afternoon as a family together. There is something nice about having all of the ambition as a family, and also being happy to just be. So there are those things on my mind, and those things to do. For now, though, another cup of coffee is my immediate goal as the sounds of my family waking from their Saturday slumbers can be heard on the floor above. How lucky can one guy be?
-a
