After a Storm

Audrey

Last night was a tremendous lightening storm.  It was amazing to watch move towards our house at such a fast, relentless speed.  I sat, in my completely dark bedroom, listening to the rain pelt the windows.  The wind pushing against the walls made me think of the big bad wolf huffing and puffing, trying to blow our little house down. The lightening was flashing a few times nearly every second.  Mother nature was definitely in charge.

There is a sense of serenity that overcomes me when a storm takes over.  While I admit that begin inside helps a lot, I know people who are very frightened or anxious when the winds pick up and thunder rolls.  Something inside my head gets very calm and every decision is crystal clear and individual.  This is how my mind reacts during intense situations or crisis, it does not "lock-up", but rather it attempts to slow things down to scrutinize them.

These past few weeks have felt like a storm of sorts, with everyone returning to work/school routines.  My school schedule has felt like a storm in many ways, with my time being completely re-prioritized and having to communicate and present for nearly sixty students, not to mention an entire school staff, as well.  I see fellow teachers, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of emails, phone calls, assignments, and general paperwork screaming for their time with deadlines and quickly-closing dates.  Even now, as I type this, a pile of math quizzes stares at me from across the room, begging for a grade in their upper right corners.

This is where my mind slows down and takes things on an individual basis.  It is essential that people understand how they operate in different situations, and also to recognize how others work through life.  I have been trying to understand how my daughters respond to different situations, and address behavior when I recognize it.  I also do this with my students, and pretty much anyone else who I encounter on a regular basis.  I think we all learn to adjust to different modes of learning and responses as we progress through life, but I don't think we all take the time to examine and really think about our different processes.  How do you respond to intense situations?

So now the morning light breaks as I peck away at this keyboard with a cup of coffee at my side.  The children and wife are still asleep, and it is peaceful.  The extra day of weekend is blissful, and I am sure I could be more productive, but it is brilliant to simply sit and be.  The Chicago Marathon seems to be in my future again, so thoughts of Gatorade and new running shoes dance in my mind.  Getting to run and exercise is becoming a staple in my life, and I get queasy thinking about a time where I cannot run distances any more.  However, I get excited thinking about helping Audrey to run one day, or just to see her grow into her athletic abilities.  Her swimming this summer was so much fun, and the winter months have promised more swim lessons in order to get us active during the darkest months.  But those months are a little while off.  We still have football, and the fall colors, and Thanksgiving before the first snowflakes are even a possibility.

So as all this begins to happen, and the storm of life swirls all about me, I do my best to sit calmly, taking it all in, one thing at a time.

Violet

Feeling the Breeze

There are times in my days right now where I get a tense, almost nauseous feeling in my stomach.  This is how I describe the first twinges of returning to my work as a fifth grade teacher.  These feelings are in no way related to how I actually feel about my job, which I love.  In fact, it is apparently quite common among teachers to get similar feelings at this point in the year.  In eight days, I will have the privilege of working with many young people to improve their understanding of the world and explore ideas and topics that are most fascinating, all while getting paid and enjoying every imaginable holiday under the sun.  So why these feelings in my gut?

The summer days have become a blur, with my daughters and wife rolling through them.  We have continued our adventures big and small.  Audrey has finished one solid month of swim lessons, and is well on her way to becoming a proficient swimmer.  Some more hours are required in the pool, but this is a task no one minds!  Violet is constantly exploring her surroundings, playing with toys, and trying new foods.  Her laugh is contagious and goofiness abounds in both girls.  Kim is being put to the test in her job, working hard hours and learning her new position quite quickly.  She takes her work very seriously, and I am pleased to see that while this new set of responsibilities has her motivated and more connected to her work.

While a trip out to see the Kane County Cougars minor league baseball team remains on my summer to-do list, pretty much everything else has been checked-off.  Long, mindless days of nothing....check.  Trip to Alaska and a marathon....check.  Lots of visits to zoos and museums....check.  Seeing friends and family....check.  Reading a few good books....check.  Play with my kiddos, watch movies, laugh a lot, nap....check 'em all.

While a transition back into a new school year is difficult on some emotional levels, it is important to recognize periods of change in our life.  A new school year is an essential element, as it brings new challenges, hope, inspiration, and allows me to use my past experiences to build upon the present.  There are many transitions we all have, and everyone also has their own personal transitions they face.  What is important is to recognize when change is happening, whether you are ready for it or not.  There are times that a change is necessary, and other times when it is not but we want it to happen.  So, I em brace this change back to the classroom, as it is going to happen either way, and maintain positive outlooks on my new year. As life zips by, I still do my best to feel the breeze.

-a

Summer Montage

I remain in a semi-state of summer bliss, although the calendar is about to take another turn, this time into August.  The past two pages have been wonderfully void of true responsibility and full of endless summer adventure possibilities.  While only a couple weeks remain in this summer for me, I am still taking each day as it comes and making the most out of it. I realized that this blog has been devoid of pictures for quite some time, so here is a bucket-full.   They are not in any order, just as they are in my own mind.  I know that this summer will be one for my lifetime, where I can look back and feel that my time was not wasted.  Here are some images from our summer:

Audrey and Daddy cross the finish line at the Anchorage Mayor's Marathon in Anchorage, Alaska.  This is one of the highlights of my life.

Audrey and Daddy pose with the huge finisher's medal.  I needed to keep walking after this picture for another 30 minutes before I could sit down to soak my feet in ice water and eat some much-needed food.  

This is Zadie getting Audrey and I onto the ferry to Haines, Alaska.  We are in Juneau in this picture.

Audrey in Haines, AK.  Here she is rescuing kittens that were trapped in the ceiling at Attle's house.  Don't ask, it's a loooong story!  Maybe for another time.  

Audrey and a Raven Totem in Haines, AK outside of the local radio station.  

This is Audrey standing just inside the tide on a hike out Mud Bay Road in Haines, AK.  It was a little drizzly, and she wore Attle's big brown vest.

This is the breakfast Attle made on our last day in Haines.  Pancakes, chocolate chips, etc.  What a nice way to begin our journey to back to Juneau.  

As the sun dips in Southeast Alaska, we see the glacier in the distance.

Audrey in Juneau, AK next to a statue of Patsy Ann, the famous boat-greeting dog.

Midnight Shadows:  Audrey and Daddy take a photo of their shadows at Twin Lakes in Juneau, AK in the evening.

Zadie, Audrey, and Daddy in front of the Mendenhall Glacier in Juneau, AK.  

Here we are in Juneau at the top of Mt. Roberts.  Audrey and Daddy are on the left, and my friend, Luke, and his three daughters are on the right.  You can just make out houses on Douglas Island behind us.  This was a wonderful last day in Juneau.  

Luke, Marcus, and Abel on the top of Mt. Roberts in Juneau, AK.  This is a special moment for me, anytime I can see friends from the early part of my life.  It helps me to remember the good things and my mindset from an earlier time.

Violet having a breakfast smile at the table.

After we returned from Alaska, Audrey stayed for a week with her grandmother in Indiana.  This gave me a nice stretch of time with my younger daughter, Violet.  It was a special time to get to focus all of my attention on her, and get to know her more as a little, independent thinker.  Here she is experimenting with wind power at the Children's Museum in Naperville, IL.

While her big sister was away, Violet got some super snuggle time in each morning with Audrey's giant teddy bear.  Shhhhh, don't tell Audrey.  

This was the first morning after Audrey returned from her visit with Grandma.  Can you tell Violet missed her big sister.  

This was taken in July during a trip to the Field Museum in downtown Chicago.  This is a picture of Bushman, the gorilla.  This is my father's favorite animal of all-time, so we always take a picture and send it to him when we visit.  

Here is Audrey, Jaden, and Violet at the Brookfield Zoo.  Jaden is the son of my childhood friend, Ben.  He and his wife were visiting for a couple days, and we were lucky enough to have a day at the zoo.  It was a hot one, but the kids were troopers!

Audrey at Brookfield Zoo in front of her favorite dinosaur, the tyrannosaurus rex!  This was a highlight for Audrey this summer, and she is asking to go back again soon!   

A sweet sister moment:  Audrey is trying to help me get Violet to take nap by pretending to sleep, too.  Violet curled up for a few minutes, but never took the bait.  Still, a nice snapshot for the heart.  

Nothing made me feel more like an adult this summer than buying this new couch for our living room.  My dad had bought Kim and I our red one that has been with us for over ten years! We love this one, but the whole process made me feel very grown-up for some reason.  Finally, though, we can all enjoy a movie in the living room without someone having to sit on the floor.

Sometimes happiness is painting toenails.  Up to this moment, Violet and Audrey had been fighting all day, and I didn't care what it took to get them to be nice to eachother.  Ultimately, they were both happy when Audrey opened her own nail salon and got to do everyone's nails.  This is a great picture of Violet getting some attention from her big sister and both of them feeling like big girls.

Here we are before another trip to the zoo.  However, this picture really seems to sum-up a lot of the summer for me.  Hitting an adventure with the stroller, strapped with snacks, diapers, wipes, toys, bottles of milk and water....ready for whatever.  Summertime.

At the end of our zoo trips, before we go home, the girls get to ride the carousel at the zoo.  Today they have chosen the penguin, and polar bear cub....the fact that the two animals are mortal enemies is not lost here.  

This is a special afternoon on a sunny day in July.  We just decided to make a picnic in our backyard.  Audrey and Violet enjoyed sharing the plates of berries and sandwiches, and it was very peaceful sitting in the shade with a nice breeze.  What a good summer meal this was.

Violet and Audrey hatching at an exhibit at Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago while visiting with Uncle Stuart!

Riding in a large tractor at the zoo!  Violet is looking for a drink holder!

Audrey was cautious at first, but then fed the cow a second time at Lincoln Park Zoo.  This is such a wonderful place, and it is amazing that it is free to the public.  

Crossing a bridge at Lincoln Park Zoo, we couldn't pass up the perfect skyline photo opportunity with Uncle Stuart and the girld.  

Another Uncle Stu and the Zoo picture.  They love him.

This is a funny picture because Violet insisted she get out of the stroller on the windy day and do a touchdown pose with Uncle Stuart.  

Just this past weekend, my family from Virginia visited Indianapolis, and we drove to meet-up with them.  We met at the Children's Museum, our favorite place in that city.  Here are fast friends, Violet and Aunt Irene.

Uncle Fred makes sure Violet doesn't get too interactive with the water flow model!

Aunt Irene makes a purchase in the Egyptian market from store owner Audrey.

Fred, Abel, Violet, and cousin Sam take a break in the small Egyptian restaurant as Audrey waits our table.   

Aunt Irene marvels at the giant liquid clock as our time nears at the end of the day!

Violet and Audrey sitting on the Great Wall of China!

Audrey and a Mayan pyramid.

The girls ended the day with a street crossing to our car holding Aunt Irene's hands.  She is a magical person, with the incredible ability to communicate and appreciate young minds.  She is one of my heroes in this world.

Sam, Kim, Audrey, Abel, Violet, and Uncle Fred outside of Shapiro's Deli.  All I can say is, YUM!!!

Audrey and some swim buddies taking swim lessons at the local pool.  This is really the last picture, as Audrey's swim lessons will be one of the last things we do before resuming school and work and "normal schedules".  Audrey is the one one on the far right, splashing he instructor with her awesome power kicks!

I hear a podcast recently where one of the members stated that anxiety is thinking about the endless possibilities in the future we cannot control, and regret is spending time thinking too much about the decisions we have already made.  If we can slow ourselves down as much as possible, and put our minds in the present moment and concentrate on what is in front of us right now, those are the ones who have found contentment.  I feel that this summer has brought me much contentment.

-a

Summer Thoughts

It's been a little while since our family has been a single unit, and today we went to the zoo.  Audrey has been with her grandma in Indiana for the past week, and I am still reeling from our trip to Alaska.  It has been a wonderful experience taking time to just explore the world with my youngest daughter, Violet.  The world is a different place through her eyes.  Things are challenges in the world of Violet; to reach higher, to run faster, to open more drawers, to stay awake longer, to chase-down the rabbit in the yard....everything is a motivator for her.  It is also a challenge for me, sometimes, to remain in the mindset of a not-yet-two-year-old.

I need to be reminded, at times, of how we all view the world differently.  There are times where I am befuddled when contemplating the actions of others in this world.  I think we all are.  To be reminded that our views are different is important.  Whether it is one of my children, someone I work with, or a person in the news, we all view things in a different light because of the lens created from our combined experiences.

The past few days has been spent with friends from out of town, visiting from Indianapolis and also from Idaho!  I have been lucky to see so many important people in my life his summer.  These are the people who help shape my views on large portions of my life, helping me with insight and opinions.  Like a blade that needs a stone to stay sharp, so are my friends and family to my perspective.

There is a feeling of having reached the pinnacle of summer, and we are now beginning the decent towards fall and school.  While there are still a few weeks of lazy, hot summer days ahead of us, the main activities and adventures have been had, and we are mostly biding our time with the sweet aftermath of our experiences.  Pictures and trinkets from travels surround us.  Memories and sunburns stay with us as we try and stay cool on a smothering summer afternoon.

Audrey has started swim lessons, and enjoys them immensely.  While short in time, she gets the chance to cover her basics, play some games, and "go into the deep" as she says.  While it has only been two days, I like her enthusiasm and am infected by it....inspired to find something new to add to my own life, something to broaden my perspectives with.  I want to find something that scares me, or challenges me to "go into the deep" with my own life.  We forget all of the intense experiences we have had at times, the things that we had to go through and come out on the other end of a different person, richer for having had the experience.  We challenge young people to do this all the time with their lives:  swimming, travels, religious ceremonies, new foods, etc.  We do this constantly, yet often forget to keep pushing ourselves through new rings of fire in an attempt to better our own lives in various ways.    So maybe with the last days of summer, I will search for some new depths to travel to, or things to experience, or even ideas to explore that will push me "to the deep" of what I am used to.

If we expect young people to follow our lead, I hope that I can do the same things I am asking of them.  The interesting thing is, I am leading to somewhere I don't know.  We are all in this life, trying to find answers to questions we don't know how to ask yet.  Everyone is seeking different answers to different questions.  However, we learn to ask these questions after seeing the world through our perspective and experiences, our lens.  I will keep working to add depth to my life, and I hope that the people in my life will also continue to do so, so that when we meet, our experiences will help us all to sharpen our understandings in life, as we continue to search for meaning.

-a

Monday Morning Drips

The coffee is dripping...slowly it seems, as the day begins to unfold on this dreary Monday.  The baby begins to whimper, as she stretches and realizes she is no longer in the land of sweet contentment and dreams that only she can dream.  Her morning milk is ready, though, as are her cheerios and blueberries.

These are the days of summer, now, where there are no plans.  No more trips in the near future, no more events...just the days of summer.  The first couple weeks in June were like this, too...nothing really on the agenda, just to take each moment and make the most of it...or let it drift lazily by.  These are the days where movies turn into marathons if the rain keeps up outside and snacks turn into feasts if left unchecked.

The coffee is ready and the cream cools.  The milk quenches and the cheerios satisfy.  The rain provides us with entertainment, streaking across the window, tapping a catchy beat as the dishwasher does its best to scrub away the morsels of yesterday's meal.  The day has just begun, and yet it feels like it has been going on a lot longer.  These are the days of summer.

Back from AK

My daughter, Audrey, and I have made our return from Alaska!  We left for Anchorage early on June 20th, it was Audrey's first taxi ride and she was very excited!  The flight to Anchorage was a long one, but we enjoyed the cheese and cracker platter and watching the mountains pass underneath us as we neared our destination.

Anchorage was a blast, especially with the adrenalin of our first leg of the trip.  Seeing my friends was special, and running in the marathon was a good time.  I am so proud of my friend, Marcus, who made the commitment to train and run the marathon, too.  Anchorage is a strange city, that doesn't seem to have too much of a layout plan, and I found navigating it not too difficult, just often wondering why things were placed the way they are?  Overall, Anchorage was a special place with great friendships.

A flight to Juneau for the night before Haines was another chance for a geography lesson of Southeast Alaska.  Seeing my dad for one evening then off on the ferry to Haines was a strange transition, but Audrey loved the boat ride up the inside passage.  At this point, it is worth mentioning that every day has been sunny and at least in the mid-70's, which is NOT at all typical.  Our first night in Haines even included thunder and lightening...we should have just stayed in the Midwest!  My mom's home is nice, and she has worked very hard on making it that way.  Haines is a small town, where seemingly everyone knows everyone.  We found plenty to do, between cleaning fish to making fires to art projects with Attle, we were always on the move.  One thing I really appreciated was the "break time" each day for about an hour, where we all just took a rest before moving into the afternoon activities!  We departed Haines three days later, ready to return to Juneau for the final leg of the trip.

Juneau was a strange experience.  I haven't been back for over seven years, and it is always different to experience your hometown after living somewhere else for a long time.  I went for a walk, expecting to need a couple hours to visit all of my childhood memories, yet pretty much covered the entire area in about 45 minutes!  Seeing the streets that I roamed with so many memories attached, while at the same time showing them to my own child for the first time was a special treat.  Audrey loved her time with Zadie, visiting the Mendenahll Glacier and the DIPAC fish hatchery.  There is something true about not being able to really "go home" once you've left.  While everything was pretty much the same, there was a feeling of having moved on, which was strange for me.  Juneau will always be my hometown, though.

Returning back to Illinois was uneventful, although Audrey loved ordering the crackers and cheese platter again on the plane.  It was odd returning home at 2am and then waking up at 7 to Violet.  I am still a bit jet-lagged as I type this blog.  There will be pictures, soon, of course.  A special trip this has been, being able to spend time with my daughter, while also seeing my best friends and my parents.  I am very aware at how lucky I am to have this opportunity, and feel that full advantage was taken.  When we return to Alaska is unknown, but this trip will not soon be forgotten.

Pictures to Start June

Swinging Smile

Violet Slide

Dandelion

I see you!

Pretty Girl

Pretty Girl 2

Violet on the Step