Working on Life this Morning

 A chilly, quiet Sunday morning has greeted me with cold, embracing arms.  The dogs have been fed and are now halfheartedly attempting to play with one another as the sum slowly moves to its post.  Today feels like a productive indoor day, as rain is now predicted in the forecast.  That's just fine with me.  My laundry is already a few minutes in, and the next load of dishes will not have to wait much longer.  Hopefully a clean house can be on the agenda for everyone in this house today.

Sunday has always been a day of cleaning and organizing and renewal.  I grew up having the responsibility of cleaning each Sunday as part of my contribution to the overall household.  Things like laundry, dishes, floors, windows, mirrors, and surfaces were cleaned on Sunday morning...usually with some kind of music to motivate and inspire along the way.  While it wasn't my favorite, I (obviously) grew to appreciate having a fresh set of sheets and clean clothes ready for the week!  

While my expectations remain...not quiet that high....I am also looking forward to a quiet day with my family, just taking some time to rest and take a day.  With so many things happening, and so many new activities and ever-expanding roles, we are all exhausted and some time exercising, cleaning...and maybe a little Bears football...will do us all good.  

Speaking of exercise, the Richmond 1/2 Marathon is in a couple weeks and I cannot wait to run it!  I have a long run today at some point...hopefully about 10 miles...and then it's get ready to fly to Richmond for a quick run with my sister and her fiance!  We will get to see Uncle Fred and Aunt Irene and that is always a fantastic thing...I think even more than the run!  This has been a run on my list for a long time...but it was never convenient timing...as Thanksgiving is a week or two after and I am already traveling then!  A double-dip to Richmond is almost too much to consider...until this year.  The airfare was civil and the idea of running a bucket race after COVID is too much to pass-up!  So it will be a fast, coffee-fueled weekend with lots of laughs and hugs then a run and right back home Sunday morning!  Ha!  

For now, though, it is time to bump the laundry and get serious about dishes.  

Happy Sunday.

-a 

A Decade of Running

 The next tab on my screen is playing the live stream coverage of the Chicago Marathon.  A young lady is singing a beautiful rendition of the National Anthem...although her youth is showing on some of the stronger notes that she doesn't quite master.  Whatever.  It is marathon day!  

The Chicago Marathon holds a dear place in my heart, as it was my first.  As the wheelchair athletes prepare for launch, I cannot help but look back a decade ago now, and reminisce about how running has changed my life.  

I remember training hard with my friend, James.  I originally just wanted to start getting into a little better shape, as I hadn't really run much since college.  I saw James (then my new neighbor on the other side of the wall at our town home) getting ready for a run and he told me sure, but he was starting to run three miles to train for the Chicago Marathon.  I didn't really know much about it, but just wanted to run, so I said I'd hang for as long as I could.  

We stuck to a Nike running training plan that James had found and downloaded.  Each run was tracked by James' phone.  We would eventually find great agony in waiting for the robotic running coach on his app to tell us that we had reached our goal for the day.  We ran every possible combination route throughout and around our subdivision over those three months.  Either early morning or evening running...we made almost all of our runs, with a few exceptions of bad weather and the near formation of a tornado in the cornfield next to where we were running.  

At some point, I was motivated to run a marathon, and bought a bib to a small marathon being held on the same day as the Chicago Marathon.  (It was too late to register for Chicago with James)  This really gave us a sense of excitement and additional motivation as the mileage increased to levels neither of us ever thought possible.  10...12...14....12...14...16..18..16...20 the miles of each long run increased then backed off in a staggered schedule which attempts to let legs "recover" by dropping mileage every other week before "blocking" up.  We ran our twenty miler training run along Lake Michigan in downtown Chicago.  The run is called the "Ready to Run" 20-miler, and is used by CARA (Chicago Area Runners Association) as the final training run before tapering and then the marathon.  The run is set-up to mimic major portions of the actual Chicago Marathon in terms of support stations and practicing pacing.  

Later that week, James told me that he had a friend who injured his ankle and needed to get rid of his bib for Chicago.  I had mixed emotions about buying a bib and running as someone else...but how could I pass on the opportunity to run with James and have Chicago be my first?!?!  

The marathon was amazing.  The people of Chicago showed-up in aces!  The energy was electric and infectious.  Running with 45,000 other athletes made me feel like part of a river and pushed me through to the end.  James and I were almost immediately separated so we really needed to rely on our training as individual runners.  It was hard but finishing really opened my mind to what I was capable of in terms of pushing my body to achieve.

Since Chicago, I have run several other marathons including New York!  Running gives me purpose.  Races are a reason to travel.  Running allows me to think and solve problems and reflect on life.  Running has changed my life expectancy.  Running has brought my family together.  I feel like the best version of myself when I am running.

10 years since my first marathon.  

Relentless Forward Motion

-a  

Falling Up

 A reset of sorts has happened for me.  Between summer in Alaska and starting a new school year, there seems to be some new spark of life ignited within me as of late.  This blog has been on my mind all summer, and now into the start of fall.  It has been a difficult internal road for me to navigate, working through my mother's death and dealing with my anger and anxiety.  Fortunately, Kim and my children, as well as my friends and family, have really helped me turn around and work towards becoming a better person and comforting me along the way.  

Some things that I have learned a little more about along this darker path:

1)  It is OK to be not OK...as long as you understand that you're not OK.  I have struggled with allowing others to help me and let myself open to show the hurt.  I still have people in my life that are so important to me, but I have shut them out because I feel as if I will let them down because I cannot be the person I want to be in their eyes.  I need to do better at opening myself back-up.

2)  Life is short.  A cliche, I know.  But damn if it's not the truth of truths.  I see the cycle of living and aging now, with a new perspective.  I am not a child....but not a senior, either.  I can see birth and death equally from my vantage in life, and understand more about the time I have been given...and continue to find gratitude for any time that I do have remaining in this life.

3)  We all travel a path that is our life.  Our path is our own and it is unlike any other.  Our oaths cross the paths of others..and sometimes our paths align for a time.  While we may travel a path together for a while, they will always break away and bring us in the direction that is meant for us alone.  This idea has brought me much comfort, as it allows me to visualize and at least attempt to give my life a structure of some kind...even though I do not know where my own path leads.  It is also a reminder that there is no one right path for me to follow...only that whatever I choose...it will be my own path.  

I am feeling better each day, and I am thankful for those in my life who send me so much love.  I am thankful for the rising sun each morning, and will continue to travel this path...but also do my best to realign my life travels so that I may (hopefully) walk alongside those I love so much for a while longer.

-a