35

35 years.

That’s how old I am as of yesterday.  What a strange age.  I spoke with my mother yesterday, and she mentioned that 35 was how old my father was when I entered this world.  That alone gave me reason to pause and reflect before beginning my 36^th trip around the sun.  What does age mean?  Does age equate to wisdom?  I don’t think so, because I have met many adults who seem to have absolutely no outlook on life.  I have also met many children who are a lot smarter and wiser than myself.  So, no:  age does not have any bearing on wisdom or intelligence. 

What age does mean is time on Earth.  For me, time also means experiences.  While I know there are many people out there with very little experience who are my same age, I feel that the last 35 years has provided many learning opportunities and chances to expand my mind and learn a little along the way.  I am at an age that is the midpoint between 20 and 50 years.  As my friend remarked:  we are not children but not elders.  We are in a gray area where we now know better, but may still choose the path most traveled. 

So what have I learned?  What nuggets of perspective and understanding can I state with confidence?  As I push forward, what things do I carry with me from my past?  Here are a few of the highlights in this experience called life that I have clung to over the past 35 years:

-Friends and family are the most important.  Period.  I have been very close to my family and friends, and I have also moved away to the Midwest and caused some separation and drifting.  Feeling separated from family and those who know you the best is not a good way to go through life.  When I have stumbled in life, it has always been my family and friends who catch me or help me pick up the pieces.  As IT MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE< I understand that having these people around me is an essential component to my success. 

-Always strive to learn.  Education does not mean sitting in a classroom or practicing math facts…although those are two great things.  Learning means taking your experiences and examining the good and the bad and remember them as your continue life.  There are times in college when I didn’t learn from experience with negative people, and my life was hindered until I finally realized specific things were holding me back.  Examining data and challenging aspects of work will give me an improved outlook and a better ability to problem-spot as I continue to grow as an educator.  As a runner and basketball player, remembering what works and doesn’t work for my body is critical if I want to improve my fitness and make gains in my health.

Speaking of health…

-Take care of your body.  I have been very overweight, and am still a few pounds over where I should be…but I know what I have to do to maintain a healthy life style.  Exercise is so important, and it will always be a piece of my day.  Being healthy means moving my body, challenging my mind and muscles, and eating food that is nutritious and helps me achieve my goals.  I will still enjoy pizza or ice cream from time-to-time, but my diet will not consist of those things on any kind of regular basis.  I am also starting to see my physical ability plateau, and my metabolism slow a little, so continued motion and healthier food are two things that must be part of my future.

-Find your passions.  While I am always looking for new hobbies or interests, I also devote time for my passions in life.  My greatest passion is parenthood.  Devoting my life to my children is important for me.  My daughters give my life meaning and purpose.  Other passions include running, reading, movies, and teaching.  Taking time to fuel my passions in life give me direction and a sense of accomplishment.  There will never be an end to any of these things, so my pursuit of my passions will always motivate me to be a better person, try a little harder, and set bigger goals for myself.  Passion is what drives us.  When you are not passionate about something, then it will weigh you down and take away from the satisfaction of living life.

So there are a few things that weigh on my mind as I enjoy the first day in my 36^th year of life.  I am sure I will look back at this and sigh and smile and my naive outlook on life, but right now these are the greatest truths I can describe.  I am thankful for everyone in my life, and everything that has happened to me.  I am excited to see what the next day brings, and interact with all of the people I meet.  I look forward to learning through doing, and examining my mistakes so I don’t make them again.  I cannot wait to celebrate success with my friends and family.  Whether good or bad, life’s experiences have shaped and impacted my world and made me who I am today.  As I step forward, I remember all of the other steps in life that have brought me to this exact point.

-a 

The Little Winter Things

It is winter, and we are tucked under our layers of blankets, peeking out from time to time, waiting for the sunlight to break-through the clouds or for motivation to spring us from our padded depths.  While we look for motivation in life, sometimes it is the small errand that gets us out the door.  Things like haircuts, a visit to the zoo, and a eating at the restaurant are all small things that let us get some fresh air, move our bones, and do something different during our winter days.  

Audrey getting her hair cut by the fabulous Mr. Stella!

Fresh hair cut.

Audrey after assembling her newest Lego dragon!  Thanks Zayde!

Audrey and Phoebe snuggled on the couch.  Sometimes the bet times are under blankets and pillows.

Violet and I visited Uncle Stuart in Chicago and we walked around Lincoln Park Zoo.  It was a perfect warm winter day for such a tour, and we virtually had the zoo to ourselves.  In this picture, Violet is pointing out fish to Uncle Stuart.

No visit to the zoo is complete without a photo-opp on the Pygmy Hippos! 

Chicago on a beautiful, cold, sunny day.

Uncle Stuart and Violet.

Violet is a crazy bean!

Checking-out the cows at the petting zoo area.

Down on the farm with Uncle Stuart!

Checking-out the tractor in the farming display at Lincoln Park Zoo.

Farmer Violet!  

I took the girls to Chipotle one evening and we ate there.  Audrey really wanted to eat in the restaurant rather than take the food home.  She enjoyed watching all the other people eat.  Violet loved running to and from the trash bins throwing each napkin away individually. 

Audrey holding a button with Aunt Eden as a little girl on it!  This button was from the 1995 Time Capsule from Uncle Michael.  So many memories!!!

Violet and the Eden button!

Audrey sporting a fabric screen of the 1994 Alaska Folk Festival.  I miss those days in Juneau sometimes.

Pictures from my Phone

Audrey and her best buddy, Jac at Airtastic.  

Audrey gets a "new" movie during the holidays.  Her Zayde would approve!

Audrey now reads to Violet at bedtime some nights.  They both get to stay-up later, so they are very much in favor of this becoming a nightly event.  

(From left) Lucy, Norah, Katherine, and Audrey.  New Year party!!!

2015 Crazy Girls!

Expanding:  We bought Audrey another bookshelf due to her expanding library.  She spent a good two hours reorganizing and shelving her books and her plastic miniature animals.  While it doesn't look it, that is a true expression of pride on her face in this picture.  And yes, she has read all of these books!!!

Audrey about to shoot me with a rubber band pistol from Attle up in Haines, Alaska.  Thanks mom!

Violet after having her makeup and nails done by Audrey.  She was so happy after getting to "do makeup" with her big sister.  Needless to say, bathtime was added to the evening's agenda.

Violet sitting on the couch with the IPad.  She was sick last week, and I took this picture when she wasn't looking.  We spent the morning just reading and watching shows.  While I don't always like a screen infront of my kids, this wa sa nice way to spend a quiet sick morning.  

The girls try-out spinning chairs at IKEA.  It is always fun to go an see new things and get some ideas about organization.  Plus, it was just nice to get out on a cold weekend day.

Mental/Physical

2015, thus far, has been a cold and quiet one here in our house.  Watching the news and the madness all around the world has truly helped me to be more thankful for our quiet neighborhood, and peaceful lives.  Between the atrocities in France, Africa, and the continuous clashes with police forces across the country, it is difficult to escape the darkness of people, and a challenge to seek-out the good.  Fortunately, I see the humanity and kindness that follows all of these events, and I truly believe that this is all part of human evolution to a higher consciousness.  

January is the start of my marathon training.  I have officially signed-up for the Wisconsin Marathon in Kenosha, WI in May.  As fate would have it, snow found its way onto the ground the same week as my training began, thus forcing me indoors onto the treadmill.  While it feels good to be back on a regular schedule of running five days a week, the treadmill proves to be a mixed bag for me.  The wonderful thing about running outside is the constant change to my surrounding environment.  Being able to freely choose my path and its duration is great.  Breathing the fresh air and adjusting to the weather and obstacles is stimulating.  Besides the fitness and occasional endorphin rush, time alone to think and ponder and contemplate is the greatest benefit of running, to me.  Listening to a podcast, or my music, or just my breathing and footsteps while my mind wanders is freeing.  Sometimes I plan my classroom lessons, other times I think about my family.  Some days are spent imagining my future, and other runs are completely dedicated to reviewing my past.  

The treadmill, for whatever reason, is almost the antithesis of outside running, in terms of how I think and embrace exercising.  When I am on the treadmill for any distance more than a few miles, I find myself trying to distract and entertain my mind so I will not zero-in on the fact that I am running on a treadmill.  What is it about running inside that requires me to do everything short of a frontal lobotomy?  Besides being outside, there really aren't too many differences.  This was a powerful realization yesterday.  There really isn't anything standing in my way when it comes to allowing my mind to wander and contemplate the world around me.  Last night I ran five miles and just "zoned out" and had some meaningful thinking and contemplation while the temperature outside hovered near 20 degrees.  

I will try to apply this thinking to daily life.  So many times, I find myself needing to be in a certain place, a certain mood, or be under specific conditions in order to think about things or feel one way or the other.  I need to learn that my mind can function independently of my physical surroundings.  Conversely, it is important to recognize that the body is capable of operating without a specific mindset being present.

So what does this mean?  

We are all capable of operating at a higher level both physically and mentally.  I need to use this moving forward.  When I am tired, I can still process information and hold conversations, and read.  When my body is hurt, or sore, or uncomfortable, I can still think about the future and set goals, and analyze situations.  When my mindset is not perfect, I can still run, or walk, or play, or just move.  Just because I am grumpy, or confused, or unfocused does not mean my body cannot be utilized or improve itself.  

Finally, while neither my mind or body need to work in conjunction all the time, it is pretty darn great when they do.  It is terrific to WANT to run AND my legs are ready.  It is awesome to feel strong mentally AND physically.  It is powerful to enter a situation where the body is poised and the mind is sharp.  So we work towards preparing both mentally and physically, but I now understand that we are capable of performing under imperfect conditions.