Finishing the year

 

Audrey made challah bread from scratch all by herself!  

The year is coming to a close.  It has been a wonderful and difficult year.  COVID has changed the entire way we live.  We shop differently.  We spend time differently.  We operate as a family differently.  

It has really been a fantastic time together, slowly growing together, learning and laughing...and fighting at times. We are closer now, but feel so isolated from our friends and family.  

Sam recently turned four years old, which comes as a complete surprise to me.  He is so smart and figures things out quickly, and loves to cause general mayhem with the dogs.  It will be wonderful to see him going to school and learning and playing with other children.  For now, though, we are content.  The girls continue to learn remotely and we are all now on winter break!  Our days are filled with playing and walking and feeding our new puppy, Luna.  She is a ball of energy and can match Sam for crazy playtime, but she is also a sweetheart.  

It has also been a difficult year, in terms of health.  Our dear Uncle Stuart passed away earlier this year, and my mother is also very sick right now.  It is hard to not be able to help people when they are sick.  It is difficult.  The love and support from everyone helps, and hopefully I will have a few more days to see my mom and reminisce before it is her time to leave this mortal coil.  

For now though, we all just slow down and breathe and do our best to just be.  

-a

Going on a trip somewhere...but we are glad to get out of the house.  

Audrey with the google eyes.  

Violet and Sam walking in the field.

Wide show of Violet and Sam in the big field.

Oskar just being Oskar.

Luna taking a nap.

Luna looking out the window.

Violet on a walk

Audrey put flavored water into shoes and said that water was running down the stairs.  She is so funny.  I don't know where she gets it.  

Movie time with my kiddos.

Sam lights the electric menorah on the first night of Hanukkah!

Sam watches his favorite show, Nailed It!, while wearing his golden baker's cap.  

Kim picked a great new coffee maker.  We now drink all the coffee.

White chocolate cranberry cookies

Mexican hot chocolate cookies.

bagels

Time Passes

 It is November and I haven't checked in in quite a while.  The days are fast, and the daily changes are infinite.  We have hunkered down over the past few months and made the best of our collective time together.  The girls are showing amazing amounts of responsibility by logging-in and completing their virtual learning.  Kim is still working virtually, too, and doing well.  Sam is active all day, and understands when it is work vs playtime.  

I have spent a lot of time transforming the guestroom into my virtual learning classroom, with an extra monitor, microphone, and document camera.  It is indeed a strange time in education.  

Now, on a quiet Sunday morning, I will finish my coffee, get some lights hung outside, and work on the endless pile of laundry.  Thanksgiving will not be the same this year, but we have made it to another Thanksgiving.  While it feels like we are all farther apart now more than ever, it is important for us to remember that we must try to build stronger relationships...as we need them now more than ever.  

-a

Falling Forward

 It has been a summer, and almost a fall since my last update.  The summer days passed too quickly, and we are still in a pandemic...still struggling as a nation to decide what kind of role we want to play in the world moving forward.

School is back in session, and the children are all attending school online.  It is different, but we are safe and healthy...and there is not much more I can ask.  The biggest challenges are the social ones.  The lack of hang outs, the missing of after school care, and the occasional overnight.  This virus has made it so we cannot make contact, and this is a challenge when we all feel so isolaed, already, with technology and computers.

Tomorrow is Indigenous Peoples day, so there will be no school.  Some friends will visit for a little while, then the afternoon will ultimately lead way to a quiet evening as a family.  The normal daily tasks are always present, but we continue to go on walks and prepare for Halloween, and relax as much as we can.  Each day is a new set of challenges and wonderful opportunities.

For now, we sit and watch a Lord of the Rings movie and slowly begin do doze off.  It is a free day tomorrow, and some smiles will be welcome visitors to our lips.

Photos as of late

Here is another round of pictures off of my phone.  Life is moving so quickly...glad that I can capture a few seconds of it to remember!  -a

Dad and Sam.  I tried a beard for a while.  I liked it.  

Selfie on a sunny day.

Oskar is annoyed that I am taking a picture rather than taking him on the walk.

I was challenged to find pomegranates.  I succeeded.  

Audrey and Hannah enjoying the sunny day!

Hannah, Big Sam, Violet, Audrey, and Little Sam on a hill.  

This is one of my favorites.  Cousins on a hill.  

Panoramic picture in downtown Naperville when Uncle Fred and Aunt Irene visited!  

Naperville mural photo.

Ice cream break with Aunt Irene!  Violet and Sam are happy campers!  

Audrey and Mommy enjoying ice cream on a hot day!  

My latest patch for my Ghostbusters uniform.  This is from the firehouse in New York where the movie was filmed!  I got to see it when I was in NY for the marathon a few years ago.  

Of course milk and cookies!  

A Sunday Morning Ramble Through a Stream of Consciousness

Thunder and winds acted as my natural alarm clock this morning.  There is something so completely satisfying about rolling over, pulling the blankets up, and drifting back to unconsciousness while serenaded by nature's percussion.  The plans of the day are yet to be determined, but all I am interested in right now is just finding the moment and settling into it. 

The first feelings of the end of summer seep into my brain.  Talks about schedules and a few emails find their way into my school account.  The early easing back into things.  Some online review training have also been distributed, to ensure that I am at least aware of allergies and harassment terminology, as well as ethics in the workplace and my personal favorite, blood borne pathogens.  I am trying not to think too far into the future in terms of an actual return to school amidst the pandemic.  Personally, I believe that schools should not open until there is a vaccine.  I am exhausted by the daily news and social media that constantly bombards my senses.  There is a deep sense of anger and righteousness in this country that is making people sick and turning on each other.   It is a scary thing, to me, to see communities being shredded and blaming each other. 

I find myself missing my hometown of Juneau lately.  Whenever things get to be too much, I sometimes envision myself walking or hiking around the mountains or strolling along the Warf downtown.  There are a few good friends who still live there, and it is difficult to not be able to visit more often.  I am hopeful that, as my children grow older, we will be able to travel there on a more frequent basis.  There is a quiet about Juneau, where one can be completely alone within a matter of minutes.  Even as a child, I found it quite unique that I could be in the middle of downtown and then completely isolated by simply walking towards the mountains....or down to the shoreline.  There is also a sense of connection to the elements when one grows up in Alaska.  The winds are important, and people really consider what nature is doing before leaving the safety of their homes.  For now, though, it is not necessarily the adventure I miss, but the comfort of proximity to everyone.  At a time of national and global chaos, there is great comfort in small-town community life.  Sigh...maybe soon.  For now, I will have to find calm in my memories. 

It has been a little while since my Uncle Stuart died, and I still find myself thinking about him.  Death is something that seems to be all around...or maybe I am starting to think of it on a more regular basis?  Whether it is from having turned 40, or recent passing of a few people I knew...death is constantly on the back burner of my mind.  I hope that I have done enough in this life...I hope my children know I love them, I wonder more about my own health, and realize that each day really is unique and a thing to be savored.  I have come to accept that death is a part of living, and it is a thing to be respected and acknowledged. 

Today will belong only to itself.  There will be opportunities to grow and learn and laugh.  These things are what make life of value.  When we stop participating in life, we are simply waiting for it to end.  I cannot do nothing.  There is too much, even as a parent in the suburbs, to do and learn and partake in.  It is important to have lazy days and calm times, but I consider it a sin of kinds to not attempt to live and interact with the world I live in.  Even a simple experience, like listening to some music or baking cookies, presents opportunities for reflection, contemplation, and activity.  A thing such as baking cookies is simple, yet gives me a chance to share with others and generate a positive experience for some people.  What a thing it is to be able to make others happy, or impact lives in a positive way.  Yes, they are just cookies...but it is a small thing that was not there before.  What small things can I do today that will impact the lives of others?

The long-term answer is I simply do not know.  The short term answer is that I am going to make eggs and toast for a certain three year old who just woke up and needs immediate nourishment.  After that...who knows?

-a

4th of July

Our family

As the temperatures climb, we are finding ways of enjoying our summer while also staying cool.  Our house has been "worked on" for the last two weeks, receiving a new roof and now new siding.  It is amazing what the workers can do in a few days, especially in the heat!  As I type this, they are finishing the last few boards and such before leaving.  There is nothing more adult than getting a new roof and siding.  With any luck, it will be the only time we ever have to make these purchases!

Oskar meeting the newest dog, Kayla, on a walk.

This is a different summer, with the virus and social distancing.  Things are more simple, with daily walks and exercise, as well as lots of home cooking and siestas....well at least for me.  The fall will bring a new set of challenges with school for the kids, as well as my own teaching.  No formal plans have been announced, but they are definitely working on it. 

Sam takes naps in the strangest of places...such as the dog bed.

The 4th of July is a special holiday to me, as it was one of my most favorite times growing up in Juneau.  Seeing fireworks at night then waking the next day for the parade.  This year, we are not planning on doing anything save for some movies and probably an early bedtime for me.  I remember frantically attempting to gather as much taffy as possible during the parade, as well as looking for a spot on the docks that would provide optimal firework viewing.  After the parade, we would try to make our way over to Sandy Beach and enjoy the festivities and grilling, as well as building sand castles.  Memories of jumping off the docks and midnight bonfires out the road have permanently settled into the depths of my mind, and I will cherish them until I cannot any longer.

Violet and Sam playing with the hose on a hot summer day.

For now, the temperatures climb and we will be left to our own devices as the slow summer day crawl by.  There is something freeing about this time where we distance ourselves.  We don't have to do things that are pointless or mundane.  We have been given permission to care for ourselves and take the time required to do so.  While the death around the world is terrible, it is the fuel for a revolution in our thinking and how we value ourselves and our lives.  Each day is a gift, and I am doing my best to take advantage of that! 

-a

Sam and Oskar napping.

Sam likes pizza.  That is all.

Audrey and dad checking out the Coin of the Realm of the Week from Uncle Michael.

Running with Summer

Running my half marathon with Violet biking!

Summer is now in full effect.  We have found our family rhythm as the restraints of a fixed bed time and waking hour have been removed.  Today we are simply resting and waking up while rain clouds move-in.  Our morning began with excitement and anticipation of our new roof and siding being installed.  Unfortunately, it seems as if the impending rain has halted this project for the time being.  Oh well...all in good time, I suppose.

Running with Sam and Audrey on the Grandma's virtual half marathon!

The "new normal" for summer is not very exciting, as most days we are at home finding ways to entertain ourselves.  There are many hours spent playing in the back yard or dog walking around our subdivision.  Violet has really taken to softball, and we are playing a lot of catch and working on the fundamentals of fielding grounders and fly balls.  Batting practice soon!

Sam on the play set

With the passing of Uncle Stuart and the continued uncertainty of school in the fall, I have found running to be a positive activity to reduce stress and work through my thoughts.  Last week I completed the virtual half marathon that I was planning on running originally at Grandma's in Duluth, Minnesota.  It was a disappointment to not be able to run along Lake Superior this year, but the run around Plainfield was made special by Violet biking the first half and Audrey biking the second half...all while I pushed Sam in the jogger the entire distance!  So while it wasn't Duluth, the day was one to remember!  It also felt amazing running the entire distance.  It has been a while since I was able to run that far and still feel strong.  The plan for the remainder of the summer is to simply keep running and enjoying each day.

Sam sleeping after a dog walk.  Almost too big for the stroller....almost.

And so we roll with summer.  No zoos...no pools...no museums....no public outings.  Just family.  We are enjoying the simple things and laughing a lot, and just being and breathing as a family.  We miss our friends and family, but know that we will see them soon enough.  For now, it is good to just be.

-a

Ms. Audrey Berryfingers

Berry break as we play outside.

The beginning of my Ghotsbusters display.

The materials for our new roof are delivered!

Cookies....because I can.

Uncle Stuart

Stuart is one of those special people who connects to everyone he knows.

Whether it's a bond with his brothers, visits to nieces and nephews, time in Temple, notes to relatives, or just talking to those he meets all over Chicago...Stuart makes connections.  And moreover, he makes people feel loved and appreciated.  Monthly, weekly, and sometimes daily newspaper clippings are sent out to those who may find interest in them.  Stuart remembers every single thing someone says, and then will send that person any related article or picture he finds in a newspaper or magazine.  I often find myself not sharing as much about my latest interests with Uncle Stuart because I may receive years of clippings about a band I just discovered or a passing interest I had in film.

Stuart is selfless, always considering everyone else and often not adding himself into the equation.  He thinks about others, and what they need, and then does everything in his power to meet those needs.  Whether it’s bringing fruit to a celebration, Halva bars as a summer treat for a visiting nephew, or paying for entire meals, Stuart always makes sure people are fed and comfortable.  He is never not available to help those who need it.  No act of kindness is too small for Stuart.  After being a charity runner in the Chicago Marathon, Stuart offered to donate enough for me to run again the next year...I had to constantly decline because I really didn’t want to train for another marathon...but Stuart offered constantly nonetheless.  Whether it is a bag of toys for children, random t shirts from different conventions, making a trip to Virginia for Thanksgiving, planting a tree in memory of someone, or making a donation to a cause you support….Stuart cares about everyone and will go through endless lengths to show it.

Stuart is Chicago.  There is no form of transportation that is unknown to Stuart, as the city was his playground, his laboratory, his work space, his escape, and his friend.  Riding the L with Stuart quickly becomes a history lesson on the various buildings and parts of the city that you pass by.  Water fountains, restaurants, ice cream treats, record stores, back door entrances...there was no place in Chicago Stuart has not explored.  Often he uses the infamous Chicago Shuffle to gain entrance to exclusive events, shows, museums, and conventions.  Trying to keep up with his Orelove stride throughout the city streets was nearly impossible at times.  Stuart loves Chicago.  It is his pulse.

Stuart loves art, music, and sports.  From the Chicago Symphony, to folk songs on the North Side, and Buddy Guy on the South Side... all music was known to Stuart’s ears.  Botanical gardens, art galleries, and museums both large and small are continuously taken in when one is with Stuart.  He fanatically follows his Cubs, White Sox, Bears, and Bulls...at least until they are eliminated from contention, then the season is over for Stuart.  Stuart always makes sure there are enough tickets for everyone who wishes to attend.

Stuart is devoted to Judaism.  The only thing Stuart dedicates his life to more than others is his service to God and Judaism.   Every holiday is celebrated and every event is sacred.  Lights, flashlights, glow in the dark t shirts, and chocolate gelt on Hanukkah, The Sabbath is holy.  Bar and Bat Mitzvahs will find Stuart in the crowd, and the first to yell Mazel Tov.  Stuart serves God.  

Stuart is a selfless, caring, generous, and beautiful and complex spirit.  He loves his family and friends.  We are all lucky enough to know a side of Stuart but no one will ever know all of Stuart.   Trying to summarize Uncle Stuart is like trying to hold water, in that his form is always changing and moving, and flows at depths well beyond our reach.  I hope that everyone will take time to simply think about their memories, experiences, and stories of Stuart.  He is the definition of empathy and caring.  May his memory be a blessing, and his life an inspiration for all of us to be better with the time we have on this Earth.  

Almost Summer

I keep thinking that I need to write more.  Every day has presented an opportunity for me to write, or read, or rest.  We are still at home, still avoiding people and places as best as we can.  Spring has melted into summer...or at least almost summer.  The weather touches the 70's, and promises even higher this weekend.  Lawn mowers are out, kids are on bikes, and patio furniture is scattered all over cement slabs in backyards everywhere.

Audrey is officially a 6th grader, and will be headed into middle school in the fall, and Violet is now in 3rd grade.  It is amazing to see them work their way through a pandemic and still remain calm and enjoy our time together as a family.  I finish my school year next week...I think.  With no clear path back to "normalcy", I have questions as to whether or not we will reconvene in person in the fall.

For now, though, that is out of my hands.  I find myself saying that a lot these days.  What can I control or impact?  What do I have no control over.  These are two questions that I need to ask myself more often.  With so much uncertainty, I find myself constantly looking for things I can depend on, things I can fix, things I can predict accurately.  That is why cooking, and puzzles, and running are so satisfying during these times.  I can control if I run, and how far.  I know that every piece of the puzzle has its place. 

Now I sit, watching the temperature rise, while Sam enjoys his scrambled eggs and a classic Mickey Mouse cartoon.  My family is healthy.  Summer is slowly rising.  The day is open ahead of us.  Nothing is planned.  Nothing is certain.  For once, I find myself OK without structure.

-a

A Month Together

The virus pandemic has absolutely brought the world to a standstill.  Politicians argue and blame as people die.  Money is clearly held above the lives of people for many governments around the world.  While there are many good deeds and acts of humanity and kindness brought about by millions, it is quite apparent that decisions are being greatly influenced or even dictated by corporations and powerful, wealthy elites. 

This time has been a strange blessing in many ways, though, for our family.  The time together in our house has brought us closer together.  We have found routine during a time where everyone is struggling to find normalcy.  It is a strange feeling to be sitting, laughing with my children while so many suffer throughout the world.  We are lucky to have our jobs, as the economy collapses around us.  We are blessed to have enough. 

I walk our dog, Oskar, twice a day, and have been running again on a regular basis.  We play outside, do chores around the house, tend to the endless piles of dishes and laundry, and clean and organize throughout the day.  Puzzles are a new source of entertainment for me, and I am excited to begin a Ghostbuster jigsaw tomorrow!  So for now we stay, sheltered in place, keeping each other company and in good spirits.  There is so much uncertainty, but I am doing my best to embrace the quiet and remain humbled and thankful for all that I am given.

-a

...And now Here We Are.

And now we are home.
And now there is quiet.
And now the roads are nearly empty.
We sit in our house:  playing, eating, sleeping...just being.

The news tells of a changing world.
A world where more and more are getting sick.
So we stay home...waiting....as the world changes
Into something new.
And we will explore this new world as it emerges...
But for now we try to just be and wait.
And now here we are.

Marching into March...

Enjoying a peaceful breakfast with Sam.  Eggs on the weekend!

Oskar loves his bones and sunbeams.

On my day off, I tried washing and waxing the floor.  Could use another round...but still happy with it!

Pizza on my day off!  Dad's deep dish!

Sam and Dad on a walk...a little chilly...but still enjoying the sun.

Sam and Violet eat the Jello.  

Mini Oreo Cheesecake.

Audrey and Sam taking over the car during Taekwondo.

Sam and chocolate.

Tasty homemade pizza!