It Changes

 Shortly after my previous post, the phone rang and my cousin told me that Uncle Michael had died.  I have been in shock and grieving in my own way, and this blog has fallen (once again) to the side.  This morning, the sun has risen and life moves forward...but the world seems a little darker without Uncle Michael in it.

He has been in my earliest memories, and always he has been a source of good, fun, and positive energy.  His creativity knew no bounds and he shared his curiosity and thirst for fun with the rest of the people around him, and the community at large.  I recall going to his house and enjoying the main micro activities such as yo-yos and playing with marbles and magic tricks.  He was always collecting things, such as back scratchers, Earths, maps, and gold pans.  He baked bagels and had friends over for brunch.  He loved brunch.

Space and time seemed to be the things that intrigued him the most.  Looking at the sun through a solar scope, or charting the moon and stars via his home observatory...he always looked beyond the small town of Juneau and out into the cosmos.  His annual time capsules also brought much joy and intrigue.  He started packing items into a box throughout the year, and sealed the box on New Year's Eve, and marked it to be open 20 years later.  He started packing time capsules in 1980, and I didn't understand their power until the first one was opened when I was 20 years old!  Seeing the old phone book, or McDonald's Styrofoam containers, or pictures and newspapers from two decades ago...time was captured and we could see how it had changed.  

The time is now.  

That is one of his favorite sayings.  It is true.  The time is now, just as it was then.  But it changes.  

Michael also loved panning for gold.  Not in that he made any money....actually I am certain he lost much more buying small plastic containers for the gold flakes we found over the years!  It was the act of panning, and the mystery and excitement of seeing those small gold flecks and flakes in the corner of the round pan.  

It was always about the adventure, the people, and the fun for Uncle Michael.  That is what I will try to take with me moving forward.  I haven't even scratched the surface of his many community projects, prolific amounts of mail sent on a daily basis...and many of his other quirks and characteristics.  He taught me to be curious, to be persistent and persevere.  He taught me to have fun and laugh and enjoy the small, funny things along the way.  He taught me that each moment is unique and that it is good to be kind and get along with others.  He showed me the importance of imagination and wonder, and to explore and search-out the fascinating and to always find the fun.  Each moment is an event, and can be celebrated as such.  

I will miss Uncle Michael but I will never forget.  The time is now, and it changes.  

-a

The Last Day of the Tree

 It is a grey, rainy morning.  Kim is starting the morning in her office, returning to her work schedule.  I am thankful I still have a few more days of break remaining, but my subconscious is starting to nag at me, reminding me of all the things I will need to do before returning to teaching.  I really do look forward to seeing my students, but there is also some anxiety and stress building as the realities of "normal life" begin to set-in again.

Winter break has been a good one, although very quiet.  We have not done very much, which seems to be what was needed.  I have thoroughly enjoyed exercising and dog walking every day, as well as the regular rounds of cleaning and just spending time with my children.  It makes me wish there was no work and we could just go on, being a family and spending time together...but alas we must make the most of the time that is given.

Today is the last day with the Christmas tree up.  Tomorrow the children will help deconstruct it.  It is a sad thing to me, as it has always been beacon of light and happiness during the dark winter times.  However, I also recognize that we must move forward and that taking it down is another step towards warmer days and longer periods of light.  

So for today we enjoy its light and then away it goes until next November after Thanksgiving.  Time is a strange and funny thing, and we cannot control it...but we can mark its passing and keep those things that bring us joy sacred as the years pass.  I hear footsteps of a certain 6 year old slowly tromping their way down the stairs...time to go and enjoy the moments that will become today.

-a

A New Year...Why Not?

 And just like that it is a new year.  Like all fresh starts, it is beyond tempting to throw hopes and goals out into the winds of uncertainty and see where they land...if at all!  We sit around the house during break because colds and flu have not given us a large window of social availability....so I am even further driven into the imaginative possibilities that this next year holds.  So what are some goals and dreams and experiences at the top of my list?  Here are a few:

1.  Get better at communicating with my family and in general.  I still put-off things too long and make them a bigger deal in my mind than they really are.

2.  See friends that I haven't seen for a while (both in Indiana and Alaska, specifically).

3.  Read more in general.  I play the "I work and have kids" card too much on this one.  I miss being caught-up in a good story that is just for me.  This includes spending more time reading with my children.

4.  Loose weight (I know...cliche)

5.  Run in 2-3 half marathons this year, and possibly prepare for a return to a full next year!  I'm already signed-up for Grandma's again...so now just time to find at least one more!

6.  Go back to Alaska.  Either Visiting friends in Anchorage and Fairbanks...or some more time in Juneau.  

7.  Move into realistic planning stages of buying a place in Juneau to spend summer at.  While we might not be all the way there, I really miss my hometown and would like to spend summers there!  Again, dreaming big here.  

8.  Seriously write a children's book.  I have ideas...I really do.  I have outlines...I really do....so what else do I need to do besides get my fingers moving and find someone to illustrate!  

9.  Find more time to go on dates and have experiences with my wife.  We both work so much that we have sacrificed a lot..or all of our time that we used to have for US!  

10.  A new tattoo, possibly if I travel to Alaska again!  

While it is not a goal, I have been attempting to type more into this blog and return to my more prolific days.  Hopefully 2023 will bring more photographs and small moments to report back about.

So there are some small and big dreams.  Here's to the winds of fate.  

-a

Moving Forward

And so we look into the new year....a few days remaining in this one, for sure.  However, one can't help but think about renewed hopes and untapped possibilities this time in December.  

The Christmas and Hanukkah holidays were very nice.  It was fun to see some family and open gifts.  Gatherings are something I am thankful for, especially after COVID took them away for a while.   It has been a wonderful year, with adventures as a family to Disney and Juneau the major highlights.  

 I am so proud of Kim and her work, as well as my children and their school and friendships and activities in their own lives.  Audrey continues to work hard with her flute playing and is developing her passion there.  Violet finished her second year of soccer and continues to look for more physical challenges.  Sam overcame his broken leg and has the biggest heart.  I am truly lucky to be a part of this family.

And so now we look ahead...while still trying to enjoy these last few days of 2022 by simply resting and recovering from the strain of making it to this point!  

Personally I like to think of big things, such as visiting friends in Alaska, skydiving, maybe another tattoo...and of course continuing in the field of education and finding more time to spend with my family.  I also hope to read more and try a new hobby or develop a new skill.  The idea of a side hustle isn't out of the realm of possibility, either!  Who knows?  I hope we find more adventures and experiences both collectively as a family and individually, that will help us grow and become better versions of ourselves.  

Wherever you are, I hope this message finds you well.  May 2023 be a year of health, peace, and meaningful experiences for you.  

-a

Cold Rest

 It is -8 degrees below zero this morning.  It feels like -25 with the wind.  It is also the first morning of our winter break.  We are all buried in blankets and comfy clothes.  The coffee is hot and the wind howls.  Christmas is coming, and gifts await wrapping, and the house demands cleaning.  It feels as if everyone has been straining to get to this first morning of break, and now that it is here, we find ourselves on empty.  Now is the time we need to refuel and return to full strength in terms of sleep and rest and general recovery.  Today we take things slow.  Today we take care to take care.  Today is the start of winter break.  Today is a cold rest.  

Baking

Triple Chocolate Chip Cookies

Sometimes it is nice to make something for others.  Sometimes it is necessary to forget about the rest of the world and focus on balancing sugar and butter and eggs and chocolate for a while.  There is something magical each time a pan of chocolate chip cookies is pulled from the oven.  

Classic Chocolate Chip

My mom taught me how to bake at a young age.  Being able to make cookies and pizza dough has served me well over the years.  Learning how to hold the bowl and use a spatula and the measuring spoons and what each ingredient added to the overall production.  Baking is a science of sorts...and also a production with cast members being the ingredients.  When a performer (baking soda) doesn't fulfill their roll...the whole production falls flat (pun intended).  Never-the-less...the show must go on.  

Killer Cupcakes (chocolate and cheesecake chip)

 Now I rely on my trusty standbys....including cookies, bagels, and some bread.  I hope that my own children learn with me in the kitchen and find value in baking their own goods and understanding the superiority of a fresh baked item over its store-bought counterpart.  I hope they see the delight in the eyes of others when it is discovered someone made cookies!  Every winter I find myself retreating into the kitchen to bake...something about cold weather and a hot oven.  I hope to make more loaves of bread this year...give them to others.  There is beauty in the simplicity of the ingredients and method for me.  Flour, sugar, eggs...basic and fantastic at the same time.  

-a

A Cold December Morning

 

Sam gets a dozen of his favorite this morning!

It is quite a thing to wake-up before the sun rises on a Sunday morning.  The chill of December tries to infiltrate our house...but piles of blankets and a relentless heater refuse to let the chill in.  As the coffee brews and the dogs eat their morning kibble, the sun begins to take a peek at the day.  

A load of dishes, clean counters, and folded laundry await the complete sunrise this morning, and now we sit around the living room as a whole family...enjoying the fireplace and some mindless screen time.  Now the morning is rolling and all the small things need attention.  That's ok for a quiet, cold December morning.  

-a